In the past, any mention of other “personalities” or Parts immediately led to a diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder (formerly called multi-personality disorder). But with continued research, it has been found that those Parts or personalities are actually quite vital. They are also present in every single person.
Every human being has their own inner personalities or Parts, as we call them, which – in a perfect scenario – are led by the Self. Their job is to provide us with incredibly valuable services. There are Parts that:
These Parts are more like advisors, and they are certainly not problematic; unless a person experiences a traumatic event. That is when the Self begins to struggle against the parts instead of working harmoniously with them.
Understanding the Relationship Between the Self and the Parts
The Self is present for every interaction that takes place for a person. When they are functioning as they should, the Parts are there too, but their role is more in the background. They may offer advice or suggestions, and on occasion, they may even completely take over, but only when they have permission to do so from the Self.
When a traumatic event occurs, this delicate balance of the Self and the Parts is thrown off. The Parts become overly emotional and make take over without the Self’s permission. This is what people typically experience when they are at the height of trauma.
What Does it Mean to be Self-Led?
A Self-led person is able to give ear to the Parts when trauma has shaken them. Because they take the time to listen to and understand the Parts, the Self no longer has to take a back seat. It regains control and it remains there.
In his book, Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, discusses how he struggles to remain Self-led during conflicts with his partner. “Her anger triggers parts of me that are stuck at different points in my childhood and carry intense burdens of fear, shame, rage or self-hate. When any of those parts get upset, it can flood my consciousness to the point that my Self is temporarily obscured and I think, feel, and act as that part.”
He goes on to say that because of the healing he has experienced, his Self usually comes back to the forefront fairly quickly. It is not always easy to stay Self-led, but it is easier when a person has the knowledge that can come with the right type of trauma therapy.
Our Parts have many benefits; both for people who have been through trauma and those who have not. Learning how to be Self-led is critical, and it is something I can help you with.
Perhaps you have lost track of your Self and because of your trauma, your Parts are more in control than they should be. I can help you begin the process of healing. Please contact me to day to make an appointment.
